Hi there
It’s been a while, I’m sorry. All I have is the scribble and mess below. I hope you enjoy.
It was between rain and mist, just too soft to be the drizzle of misery and just too hard to be the ethereal fog plaguing the land. The silence of it all hurt her ears, almost more than the noises chasing her. She was tired and cold, but not enough to seek refuge, not enough to give up and not enough to go back there. She did not notice the end of the street, she only noticed the tree.
It was sudden and giant and all too much for her in her aimless and direct wanderings. She stopped and looked up, the skin on the back of her neck folded over and the damp skin there sent a shiver down to her toes. Her arms wrapped around her torso, fingers gripping to the back of her upper arms. She did not like the tree, its threat of comfort and safety was disturbing and she went to step around it. She looked back as she did and regretted it, the streets were empty, in ruin and silent. Only the soft shapes of a child’s body and a car burnt to an empty vessel.
She thought back to when that car was a carrier, back to when its doors were touched often, its seats warmed and its engine the reason people travelled and dreamed and planned. The days of travelling were long gone, she could not remember the last time she travelled somewhere to visit the place, the last time she went anywhere without walking her shoes off, the last time she felt the loneliness ofย going somewhere. She missed that loneliness; the loneliness of knowing that soon, she would be reunited with other souls like her own. She missed seeing them, she missed feeling their eyes and hearing their breathing.
She missed the person she had been with them, the warmth in her heart and the comfort in her stomach. Instead, she stood alone on a hazy, empty, desolate street; staring back and wishing she was moving forward.
She looked back to the tree, raised her head and glared at the branches above her head. She resented it for all it could see, resented its presence and its sense of belonging with the grass beneath her feet and the shrubs right beyond. She saw the tree line beyond those and sighed, she really hadn’t missed trees. She paused to listen, still hearing nothing, still hearing endless noise, still pretending that she didn’t.ย
She moved on and she didn’t look back again.
It was several days later when she finally escaped from the trees. She had slept little, always looking up to the branches, the leaves, the obstructed view of the sky. On one evening, she had rested in a clearing that allowed the light of some of the stars to shine through the slightly sparser foliage and she had felt the world begin to awaken. She needed to be out of the trees before that, she had not rested since then.
As soon as she saw the bridge she felt her body tense; she knew she would rest now, until tomorrow at least before attempting the bridge. It was awe-inspiring. She did not know the words to describe it, but it was the biggest thing she had seen in her long life and she saw the damaged skyscrapers beyond it, she felt a strange sense of fear settle in. When she saw it all up close the following day, the fear was drowned by disappointment, desolation and exhaustion. She dropped to her knees and looked out over the destruction beyond the bridge.
She had heard of the ‘ambushes’ that bridges often accompanied but she knew there was no chance of it here. The last of the creatures had truly died in this land, the last of everything had died in this land. The bridge was impassable, the city a mess of only demolition dust and broken dreams. The bridge was mostly missing along the left side and any areas that could have been used for passage along the left was blocked by rubble and guarded by skeleton remains. The damaged skyscrapers were even less than that, some vague structural frames but nothing more and she felt nothing coming from the city.
Looking at the bridge, the way battlements had been constructed, she believed this city had once been a refuge, a safe place, but now it was a graveyard. Looking at the dust, she thought to label it a crematorium may be more apt. She looked to her left and saw the cracked and falling apart road continued. She moved from her knees to sitting and listened. With eyes closed, the smells and sounds came to her; the smell of dust and rust and rot came to her, vague and only half there; like their home. The sounds were less vague even than that, wind blowing through the buildings.
When she had been young, she had dreamed of hearing the air blowing through those skyscrapers, dreamed of staring up at them miles above her head and listened to the wind telling her stories of the rest of the world. Since then, the world had changed, the wind no longer had anything to tell her about. It blew into her ears, but it was silent. She was alone still. Her eyes opened slowly, the world was not awakening, it was still sleeping and would be still for many years ahead.
Standing, her legs ached but she knew she must keep moving, she needed to put the graveyard behind her and find something else to head towards. She walked on and did not look back.
When she found the animal, she no longer knew how many days it had been since the city. It was smaller than she was, maybe like a dog, or at least what she seemed to remember of dogs. She had already set up her campfire, it was a cold evening, and she did not move her campsites once it had been chosen. She prepared to fight off the creature, instead is warily approached the slowly building fire and lay down. Its dark eyes did not leave her face as it did and it turned its back to her shortly after lying down. She believed this was it showing that it was submissive, and could be trusted – She didn’t.
After cooking the last measly meal of the bird she had caught yesterday, she was preparing to wrap the remains when she looked up at the creature. It wasn’t looking at her, but it had turned slightly, as though it was drawn slightly forward. The eyes of the ‘dog’ were not closed, staring off to the way she had come from. She looked at the palm-sized piece of meat, it was the last from this bird, she would need it… The ‘dog’ wolfed it down and kept staring at her as it did, she stared back and then sat down. Built up the fire slightly and lay down, her weapon close to her hand and her eyes still on the ‘dog’.
Some time later, an owl sitting in a nearby tree saw a rare sight in these days; a human and animal lying on opposite sides of a campfire, both fast asleep.
The ‘dog’ followed her the next day, she did not want the company. The ‘dog’ knew this, that didn’t mean anything to him though.
She walked on and did not look back. She was not alone.
I know this means very little, especially to me, but it’s something I have wanted to spill out for several weeks and in my current state, it needed to be shared. It does not do my thoughts justice, but the world now has it. Do with it what you will.
Happy days, or if happy is too much, “I hope you have a day.”
Kitten x